I'm CJ.

 

I teach you how to loose yourself. The version of you, you were TOLD to be. You see, the leaders and power couples I work with, they aren't lost. They are trapped in outdated stories that once protected but now suffocate them.

 

They grip too tightly to who they think they should be.

 

For years, I've studied why high-performers can optimise everything except their aliveness. (I was one of them), and I also got very tired of my own survival patterns.  ​It led me on my own quest(ion).

 

How do we shift gears and learn to thrive?

 

The answer I found wasn't in another framework or morning routine. It's in what I call 'narrative dissolution' - the deliberate practice of unbecoming before you can become.

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This isn't about adding more. It's about what you're willing to lose. And most people aren't ready for that conversation. And, it is what most coaches won't tell you: Transformation requires loss. Real loss. Of identity, certainty, and the stories that make you legible to others. You have to let go of the neat little set of boxes you put yourself into. 

 

You'll have to grieve the person you thought you were supposed to become.

 

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​Narrative Dissolution ​​is built around three themes that most people get backward. Here I will challenge your beliefs, your stories and your behaviours: 

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1. Pain isn’t something to fix - it’s a portal to truth.  You've been trained to treat pain as a problem requiring a solution. But pain isn't malfunction - it's data. It's your system telling you what story you're still living inside of. The person who tries to eliminate their pain before understanding its message stays trapped in the same pattern with different symptoms.

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3. Power is what you reclaim through voice, choice, and the courage to unmask who you had to be.  Power isn't what you gain through achievement. It's what you already have, but surrendered to become acceptable. Every time you say 'I should want this' instead of 'I actually want that,' you're trading power for permission. The question isn't how to get power - it's where did you leave it.

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5. Pleasure isn’t indulgent - it’s a language of vitality. How your body says yes to life again. Ready to pursue it.  You've been taught pleasure is a reward for good behaviour, a treat you earn. But pleasure is your body's guidance system. It's how your nervous system tells you what's actually nourishing versus what just looks good on paper. Denying pleasure isn't discipline - it's ignoring your most reliable compass.

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7. This work is for people who are done fixing themselves and ready to question why they believed they were broken in the first place. The stories you're trying to heal from? Those aren't wounds. They're costumes you're still wearing. And that is where my work begins. In the quiet, messy, sacred space between identities. The space where your competence ends, where the unsaid starts to whisper to you. 

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• What do I want?

• When did life become so dull?

• Where did I go?

• Who am I without my role, my titles, my "work"?

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The people I work with hit a moment - usually around 40, sometimes earlier - where optimisation betrays them. They've engineered everything. The business scales. The Instagram perfect life. The routines are pristine. The productivity is inhuman.  And they feel nothing. And it is normally around the time they start to hear the questions they have been too busy or too bound to ask.

 

And the beginning of a stark realisation:​ you have optimised your way into emptiness, pleasure feels like a foreign language, you suspect the story you're living isn't actually yours. Why? It's because you body speaks a language your achievement-mind never learned.

 

​​Rooted in nervous system science, erotic blueprints, NLP, rituals, Storytelling and trauma-informed coaching. I blend the sacred and poetic with the practical.

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